How to win friends and influence people book review; brief summary, about the author, context, notable quotes, benefits, ratings, where to get it (PDF or Paper back), similar books.
The book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a timeless piece of wisdom and is a must-have in every library. It was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, published by Simon & Schuster, and has sold about 30 million copies since its first edition. It is believed to be one of the most influential books in America as it is a practical approach to self-improvement. This book makes use of simple to use language and can be easily read within a short period of time as it has less than 300 pages.
How to Win Friends and Influence People Brief Summary
Table of Contents
The book opens with 3 fundamental techniques in handling people which include:
- Don’t Criticise, Condemn Or Complain
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Arouse in other persons an eager want.
It goes on to describe 6 ways to make people like you which include:
- Become genuinely interested in other people: This includes going the extra mile to make a difference in other people’s lives.
- Smile: A sincere smile makes others feel warm.
- Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language: pay attention to remembering a person’s name as this requires effort not ability.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves: Rapt attention to the person speaking to you speaks volumes. Being interested makes you interesting.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest: Talk about what the other person treasures to win their heart.
- Sincerely make the other person feel important: Do unto others what you want them to do you.
The book goes on further to describe the 12 ways to win people to your way of thinking which include:
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it: Rather than argue look for a common ground.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically: Even when you know you are right, you can say “I might not be correct.”
- Begin in a friendly way: When you are friendly you attract friends.
- Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately: Emphasize your mutual points.
- Let the other person do a great deal of talking: practise asking the right questions.
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers: Invest in other’s solutions.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view: Put yourself in others’ shoes.
- Be sympathetic with others ideas and desires: Be honest about your foibles as this would help be more sympathetic to others.
- Appeal to the nobler motives: When you treat people well and expect the best from them they tend to give their best.
- Dramatise your ideas: Present your ideas in an engaging way.
- Throw down a challenge: Make a challenge fun.
Dale Carnegie further highlights ways to lead without giving offence as highlighted below:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation: This has a way of making people feel comfortable.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly: The use of the word ‘and’ rather than ‘but’ points to mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your mistakes before criticising the other person: Being open to one’s mistakes make others willing to address theirs.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders: this makes an order more accepted.
- Let the other person save face: Diminishing a man is one of the quickest ways to shut collaboration.
- Praise every improvement: Abilities blossom under encouragement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to: Think highly of others.
- Encourage others: make others feel better.
- Be clear and empathetic
About the Author
Dale Carnegie lived from November 24, 1888 –November 1, 1955. He was an American lecturer, author and public speaker. He is most known for his contributions in the field of psychology and public speaking. He was born to a poor family in Missouri and was very active in college as he participated in debates. After graduating he was a salesman in Nebraska, an actor in New York and then he taught public speaking. His book ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’ became an instant success because it stressed on the importance of a good attitude and it was a bestseller. The core lesson of his book is that it is possible to change other people by changing one’s behaviour towards them. His first set of writings was Public Speaking: a practical Course for Business Men (1926) later entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (1932). He died of Hodgkin’s disease at his home in New York and was laid to rest in Cass County, Missouri.
BOOK BENEFIT: The core of this book is self-improvement and relationship management. It teaches one good leadership skills by first understanding people before leading them.
RATINGS: This book has a rating of between 4 to 5 over 5 by most verified purchasers on Amazon. It also has a rating of 4.2/5 on Good reads. It is confirmed that it is a great book for people who want to get along with others as it is well received as can be testified by the over 30 million copies till date.
CONTEXT: Dale Carnegie’s book followed a similar pattern to previous self-help books before his. This is in the sense that the subject was timely and people wanted to hear it. The tone of his book was conversational and set the pace for future self-help books. His call to action motivated people to take steps after reading.
The success of Dale Carnegie’s book can also be traced to the fact that his book was published in 1936 and from 1929 – 1939 the American economy was hit by the Great Depression. During this period the stocks had crashed and lots of people had lost jobs and money. Dale’s book actually served as a source of encouragement to people as it gave people hope and rekindled the hope in the American Dream. His book highlights stories of Americans such as Rockefeller and Benjamin Franklin who passed through hard times and came out successful. This message resonated with people during the Great Depression and his book became a source of hope for many. Till today it is still a source of hope as influential figures like Warren Buffet still acclaim the book.
Where to Get How to Win Friends and Influence People Book?
- Audio book
- Mass market paperback
- Paper back on Amazon
NOTABLE QUOTES FROM THIS BOOK:
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”-Dale Carnegie
“I will speak ill of no man… and speak all the good I know of everybody.” -Benjamin Franklin
“The deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’”- John Dewey
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie
“The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back… That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So naturally, we are glad to see them.”-Dale Carnegie
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” –Abraham Lincoln,
“Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.”-Lord Chesterfield,
SIMILAR BOOKS: Similar books include:
- Get Smart!: How to Think and Act Like the Most Successful and Highest-Paid People in Every Field (Brian Tracy, 2016)
- The power of positive thinking (Norman Vincent Peale,1952)
- Becoming wise: An inquiry into the art of living (Krista Tippett, 2016)
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Dale Carnegie, 1948)